It's Not Me, It's You (But Also Me)

On How to Handle Having Difficult Convos with Your Agent 😥

So we’re sailing along on this fabulous writer cruise ship, having a fine and dandy time, and you head back to your room for a little breather, sit on your balcony, and look out at the wide expanse of ocean. That’s when it hits you: we’re on the ocean, smack in the middle of it, and there’s seemingly no end in sight to all that water. No land. No destination. Your breathing becomes shorter, your chest gets tight, and you think for the first time, I need to get off this ship.

This is the situation one of our fellow author-passengers has found themself in, not about the Ventorship and metaphorical cruising, but with their agent. It’s been years and they’re not sailing toward the book deals they expected when they signed together, feeling adrift in a wide ocean of no-novel-news. They write:

I am in a position where I don't know whether to go out and find a new agent or stay with the one I have. I've been with my agent for years now, writing multiple projects in that time, and so far they have only sold one book in a small deal to an indie publisher.

My debut sold well for an indie title and was shortlisted for an award so I (naively) thought I would be rolling in offers for the next title! (Ha ha ha...) I was rejected by almost every editor my agent recently sent out to, with the feedback mainly being that they loved the writing, but had other releases too similar. I have one small indie currently considering the book and I am just waiting to hear more news.

Now I just don't know what to do! If a small company loves the book and wants to work with me, it seems obvious I should just go for it! But at the same time, I can't shake that my agent just isn't pushing me hard enough. They have bursts of being proactive and enthusiastic, followed by months of distracted silence which I find torturous.

On the other hand, maybe I am expecting way too much? I know the market is VERY difficult right now, and I'm also terrified of going back out in the query trenches and ending up with nothing and no one!

My plan has been to wait and have a conversation with the interested indie before making any decisions... But I would love your insight and advice! Thank you so much! 

One thing about our relationship with our agents, Adrift With Agent Angst, is just like in any friendship or romantic relationship, communication is key. If either party stops communicating, it can cause serious issues, and communication seems to me to be what’s at the heart of your problems. Those stretches of silence are excruciating and you (understandably) just can’t take it anymore (especially if you’re being rejected because of publishers already having similar titles; submission speed can be important so that you’re hitting those editors’ inboxes first). In my mind, the only way to fix this is by spelling things out plain and simple.

Whenever I hear of somebody in this conundrum (and I hear it often - I’d say at least half the stories I hear from writers considering switching agents are about not hearing back from their agent in what they consider a decent amount of time), I recommend scheduling a call where you can be one hundred percent honest about what you need to hone your best creative environment and your best author career. This honesty is key because no relationship can be fixed if both parties don’t tell the truth. Let your agent know these silences are torturous, give them a reasonable time range you hope to hear back from them for manuscript feedback, submission lists, editor rejections/requests, etc. etc. Give them the opportunity to acknowledge their work flow is making you unhappy and hear them out when they explain why they do things the way they do, or why they think things may not be turning out the way you hoped (i.e. why those bigger book deals aren’t coming in).

Keep in mind that when going into this conversation, no party is “right” (except in those cases when schmagents are falsifying submissions or some other type of fraud, but I think that’s rare and not the case here). Your agent could very well come back with, “Hey, I know I take a while, but that’s the way I work and will continue to work”, or they may think their time frame for responding is reasonable. Just like authors, agents have their own style, but an honest conversation is needed so you can both lay your styles out on the table and discuss together if those are still meshing. Your agent may also say something along the lines of, “I’m just not vibing with your manuscripts anymore”, which may account for that feeling in your gut that your agent isn’t pushing you as hard out to editors as you (completely reasonably) want them to. If this is the case, that’s never fun to hear, but in the long run will be a good thing because it gives you the opportunity to find someone who champions your work like nobody’s business.

I also want to make it clear that I’m in no way saying your agent (or any agent!) is a bad person. I’m also not saying that you’re demanding at all. It’s just that we are all individuals, work well in a specific set of ways with specific communication styles, and any time there is conflict perceived by one or both parties in the author-agent relationship, you’ve got to come to the table and respectfully not hold back so that everyone can say, “Hey, I can adapt to this now that we’ve laid it all out” or “I think we should call it, but I wish you all the best.”

Now, in regards to your potential book deal, this is where you’re going to have to look into your heart and your agency contract. In your heart, you’re going to have to ask yourself if another small deal feels right, and the only right answer is the one that feels truest to you. I’m sure this seems like a cop out from me, but there are pluses and minuses to big and small publishers, so I think the answer lies in how you feel after having that editor talk you mentioned. As for your agency contract, there is typically language discussing how long you have to wait to sign with another agent and what to do about manuscripts on submission should you decide to part ways. Just do this to inform yourself if during your convo you or your agent or both of you think it’s best to end your professional relationship. But your convo might not even lead to that at this point, and laying everything on the table could be a great refresh with both of you knowing what you can do to help the other work best.

But since you asked explicitly about what to do about the deal in regards to deciding how to move forward (or not) with your agent, here’s what I would do: First, have this conversation sooner rather than later. I personally wouldn’t wait for this deal—which isn’t guaranteed—to be done to have the talk because you’re just kicking the can down the road and your agent won’t have the opportunity to know that their work style is starting to stress you out, which will mean even if you do get a deal, you’re still going to be stressed about the agent part. During that convo, if you’re starting to get the feeling that either you or your agent are leaning towards parting, specifically bring up that potential book deal and how you’ll move forward if the editor ends up offering on your manuscript while you and your agent go your separate ways. Most likely the answer will be that you’ll follow your agency contract which will most likely say that your agent will negotiate that deal (if you want to take it) since they subbed the book to that editor. I think this is all fair and good and legal, and in a world where everyone’s an adult about it, it can actually be a nice way to say Thanks for this chapter together! ending on a book deal. Nobody wishes anybody any ill will, and instead, it allows you both to cheer each other on from afar knowing neither of you is getting in the other’s preferred work-way.

I know having these conversations can seem conflict-heavy and scary, but I think the former doesn’t have to be true, and the latter can be reframed to exciting. When you come at the talk from a place of love, of wanting the best for your career and your agent’s, there’s no reason it has to be a conflict. And the talk can be exciting because you’ll either 1) have this bonding moment with your agent because you were both honest and are now working together with common goals and an understanding of each other, or 2) know with more clarity what to look for as you begin your new agent search. So, so, so, so, so many authors (including myself!) have had to have those conversations with their first agents that led to a respectful parting of ways before finding a new agent who meshes more with their style. And our former agents are now with more clients who mesh better with them. It’s really a win-win!

I hope this helps, Adrift With Agent Angst, and know that so many of us on this Ventorship truly have been in the same boat ❤️

-JJ

What about you, fellow authors? My suggestion is just one way to go about it of many, so any recommendations you would add, or revisions to anything I said above are so welcome! Or if any agents are reading, any insight you’ve got would be tremendously helpful! Put your thoughts in the comments below, or if you’d like to stay anonymous, feel free to write them to me at heyjasonjune@gmail.com.

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If you’d like to vent about anything author/writing related, write to me at heyjasonjune@gmail.com with the subject: VENTORSHIP. I’ll give you my take in a post, and we’ll crowdsource author opinions in the comments. You’ll remain anonymous, and any haters will be thrown overboard. Ultimately, I think you’re going to be buoyed up by author love and support as we realize we really are all in the same boat 🛳️