Wow, this is one of the best responses to the Agent Angst dilemma I've ever heard. It gives people room to be human AND a way forward so both can get their needs met. I'll definitely share it with friends when they need it.
The emphasis on communication is so crucial -- it was my top priority when looking for agents and I got super lucky with mine!
Generally I find that for any difficult conversation, it is helpful to ask myself, "What needs do I have that aren't being met? What are some specific behaviors that would fulfill those needs?" Knowing what is "enough" for me to feel better really helps sometimes. Then when I go into the conversation, I have a specific ask.
For example, one thing my agent does that I really appreciate is she sends me the list of editors she is submitting to and asks me if I want to add to or change the list in any way. And she'll update me about the list. I didn't know that not all agents do this until I heard some agent angst stories from friends. Some of those friends have been able to go back to their agent with a specific ask to share the editor list, and after submitting, request to have a follow-up email on ___ day.
Anyway, just wanted to share here in case it helps!
This is so great, Rachel, and I totally agree! Going into these conversations with specifics is key so it gives your agent a fair chance to determine if they can work that way or not. And I’m so with you on sub list! My agent is so communicative with sub lists, with everything, and he’s truly magical!
This phase of an author's career is so common and I think it would make us feel less stressed if we all talked about it more, that's it's totally normal and doesn't have to be contentious!
Wow, this is one of the best responses to the Agent Angst dilemma I've ever heard. It gives people room to be human AND a way forward so both can get their needs met. I'll definitely share it with friends when they need it.
The emphasis on communication is so crucial -- it was my top priority when looking for agents and I got super lucky with mine!
Generally I find that for any difficult conversation, it is helpful to ask myself, "What needs do I have that aren't being met? What are some specific behaviors that would fulfill those needs?" Knowing what is "enough" for me to feel better really helps sometimes. Then when I go into the conversation, I have a specific ask.
For example, one thing my agent does that I really appreciate is she sends me the list of editors she is submitting to and asks me if I want to add to or change the list in any way. And she'll update me about the list. I didn't know that not all agents do this until I heard some agent angst stories from friends. Some of those friends have been able to go back to their agent with a specific ask to share the editor list, and after submitting, request to have a follow-up email on ___ day.
Anyway, just wanted to share here in case it helps!
This is so great, Rachel, and I totally agree! Going into these conversations with specifics is key so it gives your agent a fair chance to determine if they can work that way or not. And I’m so with you on sub list! My agent is so communicative with sub lists, with everything, and he’s truly magical!
Yes, totally! It helps so much because the submission process is so scary sometimes!
I just had a friend asking me this exact question! *clicks Share Email button*
This phase of an author's career is so common and I think it would make us feel less stressed if we all talked about it more, that's it's totally normal and doesn't have to be contentious!
I don’t have anything to add, just want to say you give the best advice! Thank you for creating this space. 🥰
You are the absolute best ❤️